The day came I straighten up the house, sent the kids out to play and hang out with the wife's girlfriend. took the next few hours sitting and going over and over the conversation in my head, what and how i was going to tell them. Everyone showed up right on time except one of my brothers who told me i can tell him whatever over the phone but he would not be coming down.
Standing there I had forgot everything I was planning on saying, i didn't have a clue as in how this was about to go. Taking a deep breath I began "I am unsure how to say this without shocking everyone so just sit there a minute and listen please. I, well we found out just a few days ago that....", "I am positive for HIV.""The wife and the kids are fine but I have it, if you have anything to ask go ahead"
Watching my mother sitting there looking helpless with her eyes tearing up was really starting to tear me apart on the inside. My sister-in-law whom works at the hospital in the lab started by asking me very direct questions as to my cd4 counts and viral load.
I explained as well as I could about that to everyone. My CD4 count was at 315 and my viral load was at 51,000. I also tried to explain how all that works and how it affects me as in my health. I was really happy that the sister-in-law was there cause she was able to help me a lot in explaining the situation.
The wife told the family that she was there for me and wasn't going anywhere, even though she had already been moved out of the house for several months by that time and living with someone else. She told them we would get through this like we have so many other things in the past, that she wasn't going to let me have a pity party and do nothing.
An hour had passed as we all sat there and discussed everything from my illness to things we may expect from it, to what I was going through and will be going through. there was tears and hugging and od course with me a few jokes to try and lighten the mood with. "Well i wont have to worry about these damn cigarettes killing me now thats a good thing." a few chuckles but nothing more. everybody told me they love me and headed out and by this time I was exhausted and needed rest. I couldn't really believe how much a conversation could take out of me but that one was a rough one.
The kids had packed their bags and went with my mother and step-dad to their house for a while as i started going to all of my doctor appointments. It also gave me the time to rest more and did i need it.